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My stifled scream

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Jayne Dullahan

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An Explosion, in several parts

Fassung fassen! jabberwalk!

Part one is that I part from grief

part to partial partitur, I hate, I love

I wear away, I'm here and why

my own words crack my head asunder

shedding tears and sobs like stress.

DAMNED! and Damning!

Walled in now, with music and my headphone towers

no one reaches me who cannot, willnot, write.

Mimetic? Stuffed! I build with words

the world I ought to see and don't.

Part one is that I part from grief

and brick-and-mortar my mortal heart

to part, to part.

Interlude:

And if I don't say? You go your way

maybe sad but so relieved

but I relive inside my towers

the moment I saw you

happy without me.

And this was the way

this was the way

this was the way my world ends

no bang, no whimper, not even goodbye

a feeling I had that said, no, don't

and over my shoulder

there you were

happy

sad

but happy without me.

Part two is parted from my thoughts

finding solace on the words of others.

[sometimes it does]

[because it's beyond pain and you won't let me tell you]

[i bet you do, then it's all ok]

[and if you'd stop running away I'd tell you]

[not just me, you see]

[but what can I?]

[since you won't listen to me]

[i want to see how it feels to be you]

[away from me]

[away from me]

[away from me]

[yes you do, but yes you don't]

[ tearing you asunder]

[to love is to hurt, to hate for making it hurt so badly]

[the question answers itself]

[if only I could]

...with no problems...

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with my bricks and morter

as i build

i must remember

to build my tower up from the outside

rather than within

what can i see

what do you see

the morter between us binds

yet leaves both of us behind

hmm tricky :)

theres more but some times the words to express are just not there

that sense so beknown so obviuos yet so elusive yet you seem to do it so clearly jayne :)

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